< 1:56 p.m. when i shake whole
2011-06-12 >
it's so quiet in my world, only my bones know that, only sex knows that. sex knows i'm lonely.
i fantasize of a woman touching me, through my insides, my teeth shining- my teeth dry from the pleasure in a brief moment of release from the sugar of the day, from the rot of air and numbing interactions i feed my disease on. i feel a million miles away and all inbetween, pushing the boredom of existence away so to make room for me finally to see.
and god i want to do it over and over. i want to run away. none of this matters. all of that is wasted time. i only feel her wanting to live dangerously, i only hear her telling me she'll leave anyone behind who tries to stop her.
if you try to make me misereble you and i are in for a shock. i am not her, she is not me and there are no answers here where we meet. if this is how we should meet.
but anyway, she is not here yet and so you believe you have all the time in the world. the shock of her birth will not be yours.
i love her. she will save me. she is only in love with me. she does not care for your stranded life.
even when you run through my mind she is ahead to the pyramids, through the deserted night, from star to star, and each continent is only a sentence, your life is only a weak paragraph i wrote.
she shakes me whole again, and my teeth are dry once again.
i might be lucky enough for you to be the lucky one.
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